


All Our Yesterdays:  All Our Tomorrows

by Cheree_Cargill



Series: Glimpses of a Life [80]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Betrayal, Consensual Sex, Episode: s03e23 All Our Yesterdays, F/M, Frostbite, Ice Age - Freeform, Nova - Freeform, Pre-Reform Vulcan, Sarpeidon, True Love, Vulcan warrior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 20:36:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17372873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: After returning from Sarpeidon and his encounter with Zarabeth, Christine is furious to learn that Spock had sex with the exiled woman.  Now he must find a way to convince his bondmate that the incident meant nothing and convince her to forgive him.





	All Our Yesterdays:  All Our Tomorrows

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cheree Cargill and is copyright (c) 2019 by Cheree Cargill. This story is Rated R.
> 
> This series is done in Stardate order, not order of broadcast. By Stardate, this is actually the final episode of TOS, with "Turnabout Intruder" coming before this one. For those who have asked, I have had Spock and Christine bond before the mutiny trial, thus they are married already in this one. This is the 80th of 80 vignettes, the 79 broadcast episodes plus "the Cage", which starts off this series.

**_Stardate:_ _5945.7. Personal Log. First Officer Spock recording._**

 Doctor McCoy collapsed in the corridor as we were on our way from the transporter room to sick bay. He was in worse shape from Sarpeidon's arctic cold than I thought and I hurriedly knelt beside him. Captain Kirk had already rushed to the bridge to make sure we made it out of the Beta Niobe system before the star went nova. The timeline he had been in was mild and he had not suffered what McCoy and I had.

A crewman happened to be passing and he rushed to my aid. "Call sick bay and get a med team here immediately!" I ordered him as I cradled McCoy's unconscious body and made sure he was breathing. "Have them bring a stretcher!" The man leapt to the nearest intercom and made the call. McCoy's respiration was labored, rasping and struggling to pull in air. Pneumonia, I decided.

The med team was there within five minutes with a gurney, accompanied by Dr. M'Benga and Nurse Chapel. Together, M'Benga and I lifted McCoy and got him on the table, then they rushed away to the medical bay. Christine stayed, staring at me critically.

"What happened to you, Spock?" she demanded. "You're half-frozen! Come on, you need attention, too. I think that's frostbite!"

"It is," I answered but had already hurried away down the corridor.

"But what happened?" She was practically running after me.

"I shall tell you later," I responded. We dashed into sickbay and found M'Benga leaning over Dr. McCoy, who had been transferred to a diagnostic bed. The assistant CMO was peering up at the panel, mentally translating the readings.

One of the other nurses was standing beside him with a padd, noting his findings. "Frostbite … pneumonia in both lungs … hypothermia …" He looked over his shoulder at me. "Where have you _been_ , Mr. Spock? I don't recall there being any polar conditions on Sarpeidon. And you look as bad as he does!"

"We were trapped by a time displacement machine that sent the two of us to a glacial period," I replied.

M'Benga shifted his gaze to Chapel. "Call the bridge and have the Captain get down here as soon as he can. If he's in the same shape--"

"The Captain was not with us," I interrupted, "but he should be checked over. And he will want to know about Dr. McCoy."

M'Benga nodded. "I agree. And, Nurse, as soon as you call the bridge, take Mr. Spock into an exam room and thoroughly scan him for frostbite and other cold-related damage. I suspect the only reason you're not in as bad shape as McCoy is your Vulcan stamina. But I want to make sure. Meanwhile, people, let's get the doctor moved to ICU. Stat!"

Chapel reached out and lightly touched my hand. I could feel her concern but her expression was rigidly professional. "This way please, Mr. Spock."

I followed her to one of the private exam rooms, where she closed the door. "Okay, Spock, I need you to strip completely, put on this gown, and get on the table."

I declined to move, challenging her with my gaze. "Are you going to give me the privacy to do so?" I asked.

Her professionalism was wavering as her worry showed. "We've been bonded for two months, Spock," she answered. "I've seen you naked. And I intend to examine you thoroughly … and I mean _thoroughly_. Now get 'em off."

Sighing, I gave in and sat down to pull off my boots, still wet from the melted snow. I realized that my toes were numb and that parts of my body ached as if burned. Christine was scrutinizing every part of me that was bared as I undressed, her brows bunched together over her piercing blue eyes. Finally nude, I slipped on the thin hospital gown and lay down on the exam table.

Christine had donned sterile gloves and bent over my feet. Meticulously, she went over every toe. The tips of them were dark and swollen and they had begun to hurt as blood flowed back into them. "Can you feel that? And that?" she inquired. I winced as she squeezed the little toe on my right foot. "They're frostbitten," she said. "Not badly. I don't think amputation is in order. We should be able to revitalize the flesh." She turned to retrieve a tube of regeneration gel and began to smear each of my blackened toes with it. "Now, the truth, Spock. How did you get like this?"

"As I told Dr. M'Benga, Dr. McCoy and I were affected by a time displacement machine. We were inadvertently transported into Sarpeidon's ice age. We would have died there if we had not been found and rescued by a young woman who was also trapped there."

I could not help the sudden vision of Zarabeth that came to my mind, of her scantily clad body, warm and eager in my arms, of her lips and the bed of furs in which we lay…

Christine had frozen with her gloved hands still touching my feet. She stiffened and then faced me, her expression hard. "You had sex with her, didn't you?" she demanded. It wasn't a question.

And suddenly I realized that I was transmitting through our bondlink. She was seeing what was in my mind and what I was remembering as I had reverted to the primitive state of that time.

I didn't have to answer my wife. She knew. "Spock, how could you?" she demanded, tears coming to her eyes.

Without speaking further, she stripped off her gloves and hurriedly left the exam room. Moments later, Dr. Sanchez stepped in. "Nurse Chapel isn't feeling well," he said, looking a bit puzzled. "She asked me if I could take over your examination."

I couldn't reply and simply lay there as he picked up where she had left off. There was mild frostbite on my fingertips, my ears and the end of my nose, all of which were treated with the gel. My face and neck had also been exposed to the cold, snow and wind, but a light burn treatment sufficed. Finally Sanchez pronounced me good to go and left me to get dressed.

Captain Kirk was waiting for me in the main lobby of sickbay. "You okay, Spock?" he asked. I indicated that I was. "They've got Bones in critical care. He'll be there until they've got the pneumonia under control. Do you feel like talking? I need to know what happened to the two of you and I'll tell you what happened to me. I was nearly burned as a witch!"

"Yes, Captain," I answered. "I would be most interested in hearing your experiences."

"Good. Then let's go to my cabin and have some lunch brought in. I'm starved." He led the way out and I dutifully followed.

* * *

I could feel the distress broadcasting from Christine through our bond and, as soon as the Captain had told me his part of the story and I had related my encounter and our narrow escape, not sparing myself from telling him what I had experienced and my loss of emotional control, he dismissed me to return to my cabin and get some rest.

I did not go there, however. Instead I made my way to Christine's cabin. Although we had become bondmates, we did not cohabit. For one thing, our cabins were too small to comfortably allow two people to live together and my quarters also served as my office. For another, we had agreed to keep our relationship secret until our mission was over and we could move on openly.

I pressed the buzzer on her doorway and after a few seconds her voice asked, "Who is it?"

"Spock," I answered softly. "May I come in? We need to discuss this."

She did not reply but the door slid open to admit me. I found her wearing soft off-duty clothing, barefoot, and with her hair down. I also noted that her eyes were bloodshot and her face blotched. It was obvious that she had been crying.

Instinctively, I moved toward her but she flinched away and turned her back on me, crossing her arms over her breasts. "You betrayed me, Spock," she said flatly. "I thought you were better than that."

"You must allow me to explain, Christine," I answered. "I had no choice--"

"No choice!?" she shot back, whirling around to face me. "You go down on a mission for three hours and you immediately find a woman and screw her? I'd expect that of the Captain, but not you!"

I stepped closer and seized her upper arms, upon which she drew back fiercely and attempted to slap me. I held her firmly, however. "Christine, you _must_ allow me to explain!" Forcefully, I backed her up until the rear of her knees connected with her bed and I pushed her to sit on the mattress. "Please!"

She sniffed into a tissue she'd had in her hand and nodded, but turning her face away. I sat down next to her and took her hands in mine. "I have told you that Dr. McCoy and I accidentally went through a time gate. The Sarpeidons had built it in order to escape the coming nova. The place it sent us was an ice age 5,000 years in the past. We could not locate the portal to return and we were forced to find shelter. McCoy nearly died of exposure before we were saved by a figure dressed in fur who led us to a steam-warmed cave. It turned out to be a woman named Zarabeth‑‑"

"That was her name, huh?" Christine commented acerbically. "Did you jump her immediately or knock Leonard unconscious first?"

"May I please continue?" I asked in exasperation. "Dr. McCoy was indeed unconscious but he was nearly frozen to death in the blizzard we were experiencing. Zarabeth told me that she'd been sent into exile by an enemy of her family and left there to die. She helped me care for McCoy, gave us food – it was animal flesh of some kind." Here I paused and gulped at the memory. "Christine, I _ate_ it and actually enjoyed it. I knew that something was wrong with me, but I couldn't comprehend what."

She was staring at me in horror. "Oh, Spock, you didn't!"

I drew a deep breath. "It was only the first symptom that I was going mad. I felt as if I were … as if I were going into _pon farr_. I felt a great lust come upon me which I could not suppress. Suddenly, Zarabeth seemed to be exuding an incredible sexual influence on me and my fever pulled me to her immediately. I couldn't help it. My mind had begun to burn and I felt my logic and control ripping away!" I took in another heavy, painful inhalation. "I … I kissed her … and picked her up … and … and … Christine, I laid her down and I … I had intercourse with her. It happened more than once. I was still in thrall to her when McCoy woke up and found us, thankfully not _in flagrante delicto_. But I didn't care if he had. By that time, I could only see him as a rival. I had become a savage! I attacked him and nearly killed him when he grabbed Zarabeth's face and demanded answers."

Christine sobbed and her expression turned to sorrow. "Oh, darling, what was _wrong_ with you?!"

"McCoy understood. I was so buried in madness that I had lost myself," I sighed. "He realized that I was reverting to the brutes that my ancestors were at that moment on my planet. I was feeding off their lust and passions. I don't know how else they influenced me across the distances of space, except that I was feeling them through the joined _katras_ that make up the _a'Tha_ , the All that connects all Vulcans. Zarabeth had told us that none of us could return to the present, but McCoy refused to accept that and forced her to confess that only _she_ couldn't return."

I hung my head in shame. "I didn't want to leave Zarabeth. My mind had become so feral that I thought of her as my mate. I tried to force McCoy through the portal alone but it would only work if we both returned together. I had no choice but to leave her. The moment we returned to the present, my normal thought patterns reverted … except that she still resides in my thoughts."

Christine had stiffened again, both saddened and angry. "Spock, I realize that you have been through an ordeal, but listen to me -- I will not share you with another woman. I don't care if she lived 5,000 years ago and is dead. Either I am your wife or we can have this bond annulled."

"No!" I answered fiercely, the dregs of my ancestors' thoughts still pulling at me. "I will not lose you!" I suddenly had Christine in my arms, holding her tightly. "You are my bonded mate! I will not give you up! I _need_ you!" And then I was kissing her hard, despite the fact that she was struggling.

At last she manage to push me away. Nearly panting, she appeared dazed but resolute. "We need to resolve this, Spock," she said, then stared steadily into my eyes. "First off, I realize that you are still feeling like an ancient warrior but that doesn't mean anything. You say you _need_ me, Spock, but why? Tell me _why_ you need me!"

I peered at her, trying to think. For a moment, I couldn't make my thoughts focus. I couldn't put it into words, just the undeniable requirement that she must stay attached to my soul and mind.

Her eyes narrowed, still bright with tears. "Let me get you started," she ground out. "Obviously, you don't need me for sex. You can have any woman you want, at least on this ship. I know three dozen who would drop their drawers in an instant if you so much as looked at them! And I know that you've had other women, several since I've known you. I haven't forgotten that Leila woman, you know."

"That is not true!" I began but she cut me off.

Sniffing, she continued, "Anyway I also haven't forgotten all those times you rebuffed me, that is until you thought you might be executed for mutiny. Then you were suddenly completely ready for me to climb into your bed!"

"You came to me and offered!" I protested.

"Yes, I did, more the fool me," Christine shot back. "But right in the middle of fucking me, you suddenly wanted to bond with me! And then you asked me – quite insistently – to carry your _katra_ in case you died. Once that was over and you removed your _katra_ from my mind, we were pretty much back to where we started." Tears brimmed over her dark lashes and trickled down her cheeks. "How many times since then have we made love, Spock? How many times have you come here and _loved_ me? Not me seeking you out, but you coming to _me_! _Do_ you love me, Spock? Have you _ever_ loved me?"

I dropped my chin onto my chest and swallowed hard, trying to say it how she would understand.

"I have no explanation, Christine," I finally answered. "You are completely right. I am a poor excuse for a mate and I _did_ bond with you and ask you to be my _katra_ keeper because I was terrified. You were the only one who stood by me and offered me comfort. And I confess to you that I want you as a bondmate because the next instance of my Burning is less than five years away. I have been terrified of that, too, that I would be without a mate when it comes." I looked up at her and met her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Christine. I have disappointed and betrayed you. I admit to everything you accuse me of. I am guilty. But not love you? _T'hyla_ , you are what has kept me going for the past four years. I find it hard to say it because as a Vulcan I was conditioned since childhood not to express emotion. I look back over the long years before I met you and realize the utter loneliness I have felt. When you took my hands at Psi 2000 and transferred the virus to me, you gave me something else – the knowledge that someone loved me, really loved me, for who I am. I was betrothed at the time and could not respond to you, but I knew the wonder of your feelings for me. And I began to love you, too."

I squeezed her hands in mine. "Let me prove it to you, Christine. Forgive me for my neglect of you and for my faithlessness. I am unworthy of someone as remarkable as you, but please allow me to begin again and prove to you how much I really _do_ need and want you."

She stared at me unblinking for a long moment, then nodded tentatively.

I lifted my fingertips to her face and found her psi points, opening our bond completely. "Know that I love you, _ashayam_ ," I whispered. "Never doubt that." She gasped as she felt the tendrils of the meld entangle with hers, and she returned her side of the bond with only a slight hesitation.

My fingers still pressed to her temple, I bent once more to kiss her, but this time tenderly, begging her acceptance and forgiveness. After a minute, she slid her arms around my neck and returned the kiss with enthusiasm, flooding me with her love and concern. We held each other for what seemed like a very long time, her full lips moving on mine and her lush, warm body in my arms, setting me aflame.

I laid her back onto her bed without releasing her, the ancient sexual warrior taking charge once more, but this time with my true mate. Barely lifting my lips from hers, I whispered, " _Mine_ … forever..." and took her mouth again, determined to teach her the real meaning of the word "need".

Zarabeth was only a fading memory receding quickly into the past, as dead and gone as the novaed star dropping behind us.

 

THE END

 


End file.
